april's confessional is bittersweet
time comes and goes; whether you do what you want or not.
my first year away at college ends at the end of the week. here are the possibly very niche things i learned this year:
1.) random roommates are like russian roulette, but when you get lucky, you get really lucky.
2.) always opt to sit with the girl who offered you a seat in the dining at her table because the rest are full or dirty.
3.) introduce yourself to your campus celebrity: at the very least, it will be a funny story
4.) local plays might be better than any broadway show i’ve seen (i’ve never seen a broadway show but i will hold this sentiment forever)
5.) get a robe. if not for the fact that they’re cunty as hell, but because they allow you to yap in the hallways for hours when you run into all of your friends in the hallway.
6.) watching porn is worse than not recycling.
7.) publicly shaming people who leave copious amounts of hair in the communal shower makes you a woman of the people. a real journalist type.
8.) always go on the sweet treat run — it will lead to a side quest
9.) don’t throw up a middle finger in every photo taken of you — you’ll have a limited selection of pictures to post for instagram.
10.) you get really good at ping pong when you’re procrastinating. also having fun is so much more fun when you are ignoring responsibilities.
for the last 2 weeks, my school email has been telling me to change my password because its been a year since i made my account to commit. i waited to the last minute (obviously) to change my password, and i realized that i would not have expected myself to grow in the ways that i have. i might use the same general variation of characters as i did when i was 10, but my password is still strong as it’s forced to evolve.
i’ve been seeing the quote “ill be *insert age* by the time i finish… well you’ll be *insert age* anyway”.
time keeps moving, things keep happening. you won’t stop the passage of time or even predict where you’ll be a year or ten from now. all you can do is let the wave take you as you are because the more you resist, the more you sink under to drown.
it’s finals week and i have to be productive even though i just want to spend time in a place i did not expect to love, with people i’m surprised to have met.
i want time to slow down. i want to stay present even when a majority of the reason i’m in college is for a future goal. you can try to elongate a moment, but it will always come to a halt.
the human condition is never having enough time. if we had all the time in the world: would anything have meaning?
it’s the restriction that makes us realize what we do have in front of us.
it’s bittersweet: the present always feels like it’s laced with a reminiscent aftertaste.
wanting to reminisce proves that there was something meaningful enough to look back on. and that’s all we can hope for.
—best of wishes for may <3